Taking Back My Name

Everyone always tells me that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet when I get sad about losing my Israeli name – Eli.

For 2 years I was Elianah or Eli and I loved it.  Elianah-Sharon.  I still say it the Israeli way – Sha-RON – in my head.  Of course once my plane touched down back in the US, I was Sharon again.  It just never felt right after that.  Not Israeli Sharon – a foreigner even to myself.

I wish there was some way I could just retake the name I took when I immigrated, the name on my Israeli papers.  But I can’t without changing it legally here.  There’s a little hope that MAYBE when I marry again I can change it, making Sharon my middle name and Elianah my first name.

With my luck though….

Tonight though I did change it a little.  I changed it on Facebook and while that seems insignificant and petty and really, it is….it meant a lot.

I am socially phobic.  The only people I regularly interact with ARE on Facebook so while it was a trivial step, it was an important one to me.  I changed it here as well.  This is my home on the web so I should be myself here.  I should be who I am inside and that person will always be Elianah-Sharon.

Yeah, I get that a rose by any other name…and that’s true.  But I also get that we have to feel comfortable in our own skins and this makes me feel comfortable in mine.  I’m kind of letting a flag fly and that’s kind of scary because whereas I have been hidden for so long, this kind of puts me right out there for everyone to see.  And maybe hurt.

It’s scary.

But being me is more important and we shall see what kind of a risk this really is won’t we?

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3 thoughts on “Taking Back My Name

  1. Eli,

    Welcome back. If I’m not mistaken, are you the Elianah-Sharon who lived in Jeannette, PA, near Pittsburgh (where my father-in-law lived)? Then you might remember me–my wife is a native Pittsburgher and I used to read your blog It’s Eli for Short. Then I think that after you made aliyah I lost track of you.

    Anyway, it’s good to read you again, and I’ll probably be a regular visitor!

    Like

    • Yes! It truly IS me and I am so happy you have found me and will be reading me again. I have been through a lot since you last visited…I’m sure you’ll catch up…and my life has changed quite a bit. It’t’s nice to see an old friend. 🙂

      Like

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