Outrage

There is little more to say.

Today in Jerusalem, four fathers woke up, put on prayer shawls and tefillin and went to their synagogue to welcome the day in morning prayer as they did everyday.

Today two cousins, Arabs, woke up and armed themselves with hatchets, cleavers and guns and also went to that synagogue.

Their intent was to kill everyone that they could inside of the synagogue.

When all was said and done, the four fathers were dead. Many more of the morning worshippers were hacked and maimed. A policeman was shot in the head.

He died tonight.

The Arabs were killed in a shootout as they tried to escape.

Benjamin Netanyahu says that the homes of the cousins will be demolished. Arrests were made, others detained. The internet reported another attack this evening in Jerusalem.

I saw videos of Arabs in East Jerusalem throwing candy and celebrating the massacre.

I watched a live video of the Kotel (Western Wall) throughout the day.

It was desolate.

People in Jerusalem said the buses were empty, people were skittish.

But…people do go on.

I feel strongly about this. I know that the people in Jerusalem are surrounded by Arabs who live and work amongst them. Cab drivers, cleaning staff, bus drivers. And for the most part we are friendly with them and they are friendly with us.

Now the seeds of mistrust have been sown. I can’t help but say that even though they may or may not even remotely know any of these terrorists who are so wantonly killing Jews in Jerusalem these past so many years; Sadly, because they have not taken any steps to put their collective foot down and mandate responsible leadership that can and will take decisive steps to STOP it, they are just as complicit as if they, themselves, wielded the cleavers and axes this morning.

And I also know according to western standards how I feel is not politically correct but it IS correct by way of my Israeli sensibilities and I am an Israeli you know….allowing this CANCER to remain and grow independent of any action to cut it out and eradicate it forever will only bring further heartbreak to Israel. Cancer is not “managed” – it is expunged for the best outcome. And when it isn’t….

Baruch Dayan Ha’Emet.

Am Yisrael Chai!

Advertisements

Life As A Headcase: Out of the Darkness

I am really sorry that my last post scared people (I have to admit, I was pretty scared too!) but I appreciate the concern you all showed. Yes, it WAS a bad situation but not to worry…I have very qualified and competent professionals who care and who DID care for and about me.  I have collected the very best Circle of Trust around me and they lifted me up through the terrible time I went through.

Yes, if you feel as low as I did…call for help.  Call your friend, your bestie, your mom…your therapist.  Call 911.  Call a helpline.  Whatever you do, call.  I probably should have done that and believe me, it’s in my speed dial now.  All of my circle is in my speed dial.  I only have to hit it.  Someone will answer to help.

It would have helped.

In the long run though, I am better than ever.  I feel confident and empowered.
My meds are JUST right which hasn’t been the case for TOO long as I switched between psychiatrists – my latest waiting 12 weeks between dosage changes and med changes and that was too long.  If that happens again, I have the tools to know what to do.  I won’t like losing my therapist but then again, I don’t want to lose me either.

For the first time ever I can tell you, I love this girl.  And she means the world to me.  And I will do what I have to do to keep her safe, empowered, happy and protected.  Go into debt, act silly, whatever.  Her happiness is my goal. So don’t worry, I’m back. I hope you’ll stay with me.  As I said to my therapist, Shrinkette, I promise I will
ask for help WAY before I need it.

To paraphrase one of my favorite Ghostbusters, Winston Zeddemore, I have the tools and now I have the talent.

I journal OFFLINE and that journal is just between me and my Maker.  I have a Circle of Trust and have taken GREAT measures to emulate my Howard-Hughes-like son who is obsessed with privacy as far as my facebook is concerned.

It took a long time to decide if I could continue my blog but I think it’s important for many people and in many ways.  Maybe it IS a freak show that folks like to see.  But maybe someone has BPD too and maybe some of the things I have said and plan to say will help.

I am here to be helpful.  But the best part for me is that I AM HERE.

 

This post has also been crossposted on my blog located at BlogHer.com.